I was thinking as I drove to school this morning about the embarrassing things I do on a daily basis. I’ve actually considered starting a blog just to document all those things because there are that many. The funny thing about embarrassing moments is that they feel like huge burdens on your coolness until you share the story with others. It’s almost as if having a group of your friends laugh at you lessens the load and makes it easier to carry on like a normal human being. So here you go. This is a list of five things I am exceptionally bad at doing.
- Small talk. Literally it is the bane of my existence. Even if I like you, if I see you in public I am likely to say hi, stumble over a question or two, and then quietly excuse myself. It’s just that when I get into situations like these, I become ultra-aware of my body and my facial expressions and suddenly I feel like everyone is staring at me, scrutinizing my every move. Maybe that’s a little paranoid…regardless, it most definitely ties in with my second point —
- Talking to strangers. Most conversations with strangers tend to be small talk, so it makes sense that I’d be bad at them. I can talk to strangers if I have a reason to talk to them, though. So interviews usually work out okay.
- Resisting impulse food purchases. There’s no good explanation for this except that my life is essentially ruled by my stomach. I’m fairly disciplined when it comes to shopping and spending money, except for buying food, but it turns out to be a major money drain. So I slowly deplete my funds by eating out and frequently treating myself to sweets.
- Filtering my words. This is arguably my worst habit ever. I have an awful tendency to tell strangers way too much in order to lighten the mood. I share personal secrets and embarrassing anecdotes, hoping they’ll think I’m friendly or that I live a lighthearted life. Instead, I’m sure their impression of me is that I’m a shameless mess. Whether this is true or not, at least it’s out in the open.
- Being cool. This isn’t usually an issue for me unless I find myself surrounded by cool people. In an effort to fit in, I throw all reason and mystery out the window, blurt things unnecessarily (see above), and give the impression that I’m an anxious try-hard. Moral of the story: aspiration to coolness is futile if you’re not actually cool.