be gutsy now

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Do one thing every day that scares you.

Every few months this phrase pops up on my Feedly as bloggers attempt to “get real” and expose their vulnerabilities. And while I’ll admit it’s an engaging thought, whenever I see those words splayed across the top of the page, my eyes glaze over and I keep moving because what is to follow is likely an observation of the way we hold ourselves back, as insightful and original as a cut-and-paste.

And guess what, dear readers? It’s my turn to write that post. I will do my best to exclude nondescript pronouns and anecdotes and stick to what happened. So here it is.

My resume was recently reviewed by a group of professional peers, all of whom I do not know but whom I respect nevertheless. They gave me their feedback in writing, and it was mostly what I’d heard before – experienced, specialized, etc. — but their biggest critique was that I’ve been too comfortable. Here’s a snippet to illustrate:

She’s done a lot – of stuff she’s familiar with and really into. Her resume is stuck in a comfort zone. It’s time for her to step into the unknown and challenge herself. She owes it to herself and to journalism to find that challenge.

I read that and it was like someone had just introduced me to the concept of addition. For a minute, I was elated: finally, some truly honest and valuable constructive criticism. 

And then the elation turned to curiosity. And then doubt.

Wait. How exactly am I supposed to find things to do that make me uncomfortable? For the past four years I’ve processed every potential opportunity through a filter of necessity, asking myself how it would help me improve necessary skills, or whether it would make sense on the storyboard that is my professional life plan. The result has been gradual specialization into skills and media niches that will (hopefully) make next year’s job search a little easier. And now I’m supposed to forget all of that for the sake of doing something that scares me?

Of course there’s more to it than that. No one wants to be around a one-dimensional person — not in the personal sense and not in the professional sense. No one wants to read a resume and think it might all be for show. No one wants to hire someone who excels at being average, content to simply meet expectations while the competition is bursting past them.

I’ve had a few days to process my feelings about it all and my conclusion, unfortunately, is the same as every other self-absorbed blogger out there: I need to figure out what scares me, and then do it. It’s a lot easier said than done though, isn’t it? Now begins the daunting task of taking a good hard look at my life and figuring out what’s missing. I think my first step will be to simply consider what matters to me on a personal level and go from there. I have a few starting points.

For you all, take it from me: don’t let this realization sneak up on you when it’s too late and you’ve lost a job for not being gutsy enough now.

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missed connections

I walked to Georgetown today for a new pair of running shoes. Actually, I had bought the shoes yesterday but they were a size too big, so I went to exchange them. It’s a considerable walk from my dorm in Foggy Bottom to Georgetown Running Company, which is on the western side of town. I was content to walk alone, listening to The Sound of Music soundtrack and feel generally content with my state of being.

I traded my shoes and spent an hour and a half ducking in and out of stores on M Street, still feeling swell – now with brand new Brooks Ghost 6′s on my feet. (They’re gorgeous, by the way. Brooks really outdid themselves on this model.) Slowly though, a slight feeling of melancholy started to overtake me. I can’t say what triggered it, though I suspect it might have just been hunger and dehydration. Regardless, I started walking back to my dorm with the heavier-growing burden of whatever gross monster of a mood was about to eat my heart.

Then I passed a little bookshop with new releases on display on tables out front. I was intrigued by a biography of JFK, so I stopped. After flipping through it and deciding against it, I climbed the shop’s steps and pushed its heavy door forward.

Continue reading

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saturday

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I wanted to do a quick recap of my Saturday because it was arguably one of the most eventful I’ve had in the city so far. Check it out:

8:30 a.m. Wake up, wash my face, brush my teeth and check out everything I’ve missed on the Internet. (Stalk girl from high school who just had a baby. Woah.)

10:10 a.m. Find a book on Bhakti Yoga on the floor in my dorm’s hallway. Take it as a sign from the universe, pick up the slim book and tuck it into my purse.

10:20 a.m. Meet up with Dana and friends to head to brunch over on Capitol Hill.

11:00 a.m. Arrive at Lavagna, our brunching location. Feel like a super cool D.C. native for finding such a nice spot and thinking to call ahead for a reservation.

11:10 a.m. First mimosa. First coffee.

11:30 a.m. Eat the most perfect pancakes ever. Refill both mimosa and coffee (they’re bottomless — in other words, dangerous).

11:50 a.m. Scrawl a messy tip on the check as I pay for my brunch. Thinking the waiter said his name was Alex, I write incredulously on the check that my name is Alex, too! [smiley face] His name was not, in fact, Alex. I don’t know what it is.

12-1:30 p.m. Wander around Capitol Hill in a drunken haze. I told you bottomless mimosas are a dangerous thing.

2:00 p.m. Stumble back to my dorm. Nap off the champagne.

2:45 p.m. Head toward Georgetown. Run into a lost woman from Alabama who is looking for Georgetown. Walk to Georgetown with said lost woman. Make chipper conversation about the south while walking together. Feel great in general.

4:00 p.m. Meet a new Internet friend, Daisy, for coffee and cupcakes at Baked & Wired. Chat for a long time about a lot of things and feel comforted that the Internet has the power to bring so many people together.

7:00 p.m. Head back to dorm. Hang out for a little. Start watching Julie & Julia. Stop, realizing I haven’t eaten dinner.

8:30 p.m. Walk the two blocks to Whole Foods to buy tomatoes, basil and a baguette for bruschetta.

9:00 p.m. Make bruschetta. Eat bruschetta. Bask in the light deliciousness of bruschetta.

11:00 p.m. Write blog post about great day. Appreciate good fortune. Pass out.

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feminist taylor swift

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Have you heard of Feminist Taylor Swift yet? The account, which makes feminist jokes out of Taylor Swift lyrics, published its first tweet on Wednesday and since then its following has skyrocketed.

You all know I love Taylor, but I’ve always had my gripes with her from a feminist standpoint. Yes, she’s created a wealth of prosperity from her creativity, and yes, she gives a voice to a lot of the feelings teenage girls go through, (huge but coming) BUT I find it troubling how heavily the plot lines in her songs rely on conventional gender roles in relationships: girls who pine after boys, girls whose lives are destroyed by boys — not to mention the blatant Madonna/whore dichotomy in the “You Belong With Me” music video.

Whoever it is running the Feminist Taylor Swift twitter account is clearly tuned into those same frustrations, and they’re able to express them in a much more hilarious way than I ever could. It’s a really palatable way to critique cultural norms from a feminist perspective. I do wish it were possible to do so without attacking one person in particular, but I think there’s a distinction between Taylor Swift the person and Taylor Swift the icon. The icon is the figure with the power to reinforce or dictate social norms for an impressionable audience of pre-teens and teens. That’s what this account is calling attention to, and it’s doing a great job.

Follow them.

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yo, y’all

Life has been really busy lately. Between work and well, sleeping, I haven’t had much time at all. Here’s a quick list of things occupying my mind at the moment.

  • “The Chaperone” by Laura Moriarty — I picked this up at the airport before I left Georgia on Monday (good thing I grabbed it because my flight ended up being delayed five hours). It’s been a yummy, take-me-away type of read, which is exactly what I need right now. 
  • Mad Men — How did I miss this boat, you guys? Doesn’t matter; I’m on it now. I’m officially obsessed with Peggy Olson.
  • Coffee — I’m on it. Sorry, I’m not really sorry at all. I’m addicted, which is apparently a real issue now.
  • Dots — What an annoyingly addictive game. I’m a fan of the sleek design and the satisfying sound effects.
  • Hillary Clinton’s Twitter bio — I suspect she won’t be as active on Twitter as we all hope, but she has the best bio ever. I’m particularly a fan of the “TBD…” ;)

There’s more. Of course there’s more. But it’s 10:19 on a Wednesday and my body is sore from exercising this evening. And I’m sleepy. So that’s all for tonight.

(Even though I’m blogging less this summer, I’m tweeting WAY more)

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niceness.

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When I tweeted this on Friday, I was sitting at the bar in an airport restaurant waiting for my flight home to Georgia. There was a long wait for tables and people had started ordering drinks from the bar to entertain themselves as they waited. An old woman walked up alone and asked to add her name to her list and without thinking, a middle aged man who was also traveling alone stepped up and insisted she take his spot ahead of him in line.

It was a small gesture but the woman was touched, and she smiled to herself as she sat down to her dinner before the man did. Watching this scene unfold, I realized how surprised I was by this gesture of kindness. This man wasn’t motivated by any desire to get ahead, he was unaware that anyone was watching him – not to mention I’m sure he was probably pretty hungry too. What he did was 100% out of kindness — out of the desire to do something good for another person. I got to thinking about how rare unconditional kindness is these days. I’m the first to admit that the only volunteer work I really do during the year is what’s required of my sorority membership – two hours a semester at a local elementary school. Granted there is the local women’s advocacy I’m involved in through my major but that hardly counts in my mind.

I know I’m not the only person with an apparent kindness deficit who craves genuine compassion everywhere — from coworkers to friends to acquaintances. The type of unconditional kindness I’m looking for is more than simply being a sweet person, because somehow sweetness has become code for “weak.” Whether that’s true or not, the type of kindness I’m talking about is more than being agreeable. Agreeable is pointless. Agreeable is complacent. You could even say it’s spineless. And that’s why I think many women try to distance themselves from any iteration of the word, which is a huge mistake.

In the professional realm, female career mavens from Sheryl Sandberg to Kate White emphasize the importance of living up to your full potential by relentlessly expecting the best from yourself and others. I agree that while a little less mindless smiling and a lot more real talk could do us all immense good, there’s something to be said about niceness: the kind of interpersonal communication that says to someone, “I know where you’re coming from and I care about what you’re going through.” The ability to connect with others on that level will serve an individual infinitely more than repeated attempts to establish yourself as a separate, superior entity from others.

In light of this, I’m reminded of a quote Mr. Rogers was said to carry in his wallet every day of his life: ”frankly there isn’t anyone you couldn’t learn to love once you’ve heard their story.” I think he was onto something there. Nobody is perfect and everyone is going through their own struggles while trying to become the best versions of themselves. With some warm understanding it would be a lot easier for all of us to get ahead.

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my favorite new apps

I’m not sure why it came as a surprise to me that a week into my internship and I’m downloading a new app to my iPad or iPhone every. single. day. Not only is my job tech-centered, but the fact that I’m in a new city means I suddenly need area-specific things like a Metro map app (lol). It seems to me like app developers are becoming more and more clever and sophisticated and I love it. Not only are the ideas great but they app design and user experience is so smooth. I thought I’d share some of my new favorite apps because it’s been a few months since I’ve updated you all. Check it:

  • Moves - It’s a smart pedometer. Not only does it track your steps, but it tallies your total mileage and total active time during the day. It also says how long you were sitting, which is really great for me because I basically spend my entire day sitting at a desk. It constantly tracks your motion and it’s a great reminder to stand up and walk around every once in a while.
  • Couple - The loveliest app for lovers around. There’s an adorable promotion video on their website, but I’ll give you a quick summary. It’s a communication app for couples (obviously) that encompasses everything iPhones can do – texting, photo sharing, videos, phone calls, group calendars, lists, etc. You can even turn your couple feed into a sort of relationship scrapbook by saving “moments.” My favorite feature by far is the thumbkiss though – when both users touch the same points on their phone screens, it turns red in a little “kiss.” Perfect for long distance.
  • Tempo - Tempo is a smart calendar that compiles all of your contacts (iPhone, Facebook, and email) with your calendar while supplementing with any relevant info like contact information, meeting locations (drawn straight from Maps), and anything else that could be mined from your accounts using the keywords/dates. There is also a super cute video on Tempo’s website demonstrating the fun features.
  • Timehop - Using Timehop is sort of like opening a social media time capsule every day. When you sign up, you grant the app access to your Twitter and Facebook accounts, then each day Timehop tells you what you posted to the Internet 1, 2, or 3 years ago (depending on how long you’ve been around online). It’s fairly mortifying most of the time, but also super entertaining. Also, full discloser: I help write the USA TODAY snippets at the bottom!
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pay attention.

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So I’d like to start this blog post with a cheerful announcement that my first week in D.C. went off without a hitch — that everything was golden and that I feel totally at home in this big ole city now. Unfortunately I’m not a liar. The last week (and this weekend in particular) started off rough and got a little bit worse. And then it got better. Without getting into the gritty details of the mess that was my life on Friday and Saturday, I’ll just say that I made two extremely stupid mistakes that could have easily ruined my summer if it were not for the network of friends and family I have taking care of me.

Twice in 24 hours I found myself in dumb astonishment at the extent of my own carelessness, my carefully crafted net of security lay unraveled at my feet. Twice I called Ashton in near hysterics and twice talked me off the enticing ledge and helped me figure out solutions.

As I write this everything is officially OK. Not to worry — I am safe and healthy with all my limbs in tact. I’m comforted by reminding myself that these are the things we are meant to go through in our twenties. Regardless of what Meg Jay would like us to believe, I am still a wholehearted proponent of royally screwing up as early and quickly as possible (a.k.a. NOW). It’s counterintuitive, but it makes sense when you think about it: nobody is perfect, and as invincible as you’d like to believe you are, bad things will inevitably happen. Everyone makes big mistakes so the sooner you make them, the sooner you can learn from them. With that in mind I welcome this past weekend’s turmoil, accepting at once that I am the only person to blame for my problems and that I will grow as a result.

It’s not every day that you learn lifelong lessons, but I’m lucky to have learned one this weekend, and that is to pay attention. From workflow processes to agreed appointment times and everything in between, the little details will get you every time. I have a bad habit of glazing over details in favor of The Main Idea (whatever that is) and it has kicked me in the butt over and over and over and OVER. So I guess you could say I’m lucky to have screwed up so intensely this weekend. Anyway, here’s the thesis statement from one twenty something to (presumably) another: pay attention to those details. Seriously.

Alright, I’m off to visit some museums. I post more consistently on Twitter, Instagram, and Foursquare, so follow me!

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What I like about the district

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I like that people call it “The District.” It lends a mysterious edge to a name that’s come to sound so familiar to my ears, so that suddenly it’s a brand new entity that hints at some unimaginable splendor. I like the sidewalks’ busyness in the mornings. I like seeing women in business suits and flip-flops on their morning commutes. I like seeing old men with potbellies stop into the local deli for their regular bagel and coffee. I like imagining where everyone is rushing off to.

When I’m listening to Morning Edition in the car, I like knowing that when Washington is mentioned, they’re talking about things that are taking place miles away from me as I go about my day.

I like working in a big, glass building. As menacing as it was on my first day, it reminds me of a college campus – everyone is there doing their own thing, no one questions your presence because they assume you have a place as well. Above all, your presence signifies a commonality between the two of you as plain as a university name emblazoned across your sweater.

I like sitting in on professional meetings and listening to the dialogue. Negotiations go on forever over seemingly minute details such as the placement and size of a sponsor’s logo. I like how thoroughly everyone handles their specific tasks and then it comes together in a beautiful, effective project. Rolling out a new product in three months? No problem. A marketing plan will be drafted, advertisements sold, copy written, and graphics created within the week. It’s a stark contrast to the positions I’ve held in the past where everyone in a team was expected to wear many different hats by default. I’m glad I’ve had those experiences of course, but I’m looking forward to a time when I know exactly what is expected of me and excel in that task.

I like how discussions center on the product or the client, and all personal feelings are checked at the door in favor of work quality.

I like the way the flowerbeds smell on the GW campus as I walk from my parking deck back to my dorm. Their sweetness mingles with exhaust from cars that pairs with the dusky haze and cooling air signaling the end of another work day.

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summer in the city

I hate it when people start their blog posts with “sorry I’ve been MIA,” but seriously, I’m sorry I’ve been MIA. I moved to D.C. on Sunday but I’ve been without Internet in my dorm until tonight and it has been miserable. I’ve wanted to blog every day as well, but obviously, no Internet = no blogging. I have been taking some notes on my mental state every day so I figured I’d at least share that.

Sunday evening 

  • Waiting in line to check into summer housing at GW was rough – I was there for an hour and a half and it totally felt like the first day of summer camp or the beginning of freshman year.
  • In a way, it kind of is a summer camp for college kids. And we’re like the freshmen in the city.
  • I wish I had my family here though. Or someone. It’s lonely being in a brand new city.

Monday 

  • It’s so bright in my room I couldn’t sleep in past 6:00 a.m. I decided to go for a run around the mall and it. was. perfect. I smiled the entire time from the Lincoln Memorial all the way to the end of the mall. 
  • Still no Internet.
  • I got to have lunch and wandering time with the lovely Lemley. I was relieved that I loved her as much in real life as I do online.
  • Because there’s no Internet in my room, I hid out for a couple of hours in the Starbucks around the corner. Internet and wifi. It was delicious.
  • Then I headed out to Capitol Hill to meet up with Charles Hicks for dinner. We grabbed some fried chicken for Memorial Day and ate it on the steps of the Supreme Court. We spent the evening soaking in our good fortune and talking about our futures. The sun went down and we wandered over to the World War II Memorial.

Finally, today. 

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  • My first day officially on the job. I loved it. The only thing I want to say is how lovely it is to work with people who spend their days talking social strategy. It’s beautiful. 
  • Now I’m exhausted. Drinking a beer, watching a couple of episodes of Mad Men (finally I have Internet in my room), and getting ready for Day Two.
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