When I tweeted this on Friday, I was sitting at the bar in an airport restaurant waiting for my flight home to Georgia. There was a long wait for tables and people had started ordering drinks from the bar to entertain themselves as they waited. An old woman walked up alone and asked to add her name to her list and without thinking, a middle aged man who was also traveling alone stepped up and insisted she take his spot ahead of him in line.

It was a small gesture but the woman was touched, and she smiled to herself as she sat down to her dinner before the man did. Watching this scene unfold, I realized how surprised I was by this gesture of kindness. This man wasn’t motivated by any desire to get ahead, he was unaware that anyone was watching him – not to mention I’m sure he was probably pretty hungry too. What he did was 100% out of kindness — out of the desire to do something good for another person. I got to thinking about how rare unconditional kindness is these days. I’m the first to admit that the only volunteer work I really do during the year is what’s required of my sorority membership – two hours a semester at a local elementary school. Granted there is the local women’s advocacy I’m involved in through my major but that hardly counts in my mind.

I know I’m not the only person with an apparent kindness deficit who craves genuine compassion everywhere — from coworkers to friends to acquaintances. The type of unconditional kindness I’m looking for is more than simply being a sweet person, because somehow sweetness has become code for “weak.” Whether that’s true or not, the type of kindness I’m talking about is more than being agreeable. Agreeable is pointless. Agreeable is complacent. You could even say it’s spineless. And that’s why I think many women try to distance themselves from any iteration of the word, which is a huge mistake.

In the professional realm, female career mavens from Sheryl Sandberg to Kate White emphasize the importance of living up to your full potential by relentlessly expecting the best from yourself and others. I agree that while a little less mindless smiling and a lot more real talk could do us all immense good, there’s something to be said about niceness: the kind of interpersonal communication that says to someone, “I know where you’re coming from and I care about what you’re going through.” The ability to connect with others on that level will serve an individual infinitely more than repeated attempts to establish yourself as a separate, superior entity from others.

In light of this, I’m reminded of a quote Mr. Rogers was said to carry in his wallet every day of his life: ”frankly there isn’t anyone you couldn’t learn to love once you’ve heard their story.” I think he was onto something there. Nobody is perfect and everyone is going through their own struggles while trying to become the best versions of themselves. With some warm understanding it would be a lot easier for all of us to get ahead.